The Whitsdom Press

Tag: Parenting

  • From Likes to Legacy: Teaching Teens About Digital Footprints

    Talking to teens about social media responsibility and digital footprinting is crucial in today’s digital age. As parents, grandparents, and caregivers, we play a vital role in guiding our teens toward safe and responsible online behavior. Let’s break it down into actionable steps:

    1. Understand the Landscape

    Before diving into conversations with your teens, it’s essential to grasp the social media landscape. Acknowledge that social media is an integral part of their lives, and it’s here to stay. Here are some key points:

    • Benefits and Risks: Social media offers both benefits and risks. While it connects people, provides information, and fosters creativity, it can also lead to mental health issues, cyberbullying, and privacy concerns.

    2. Open Dialogue

    Keep communication channels open with your teens. Regularly discuss social media and technology. Here’s how:

    • Current Events and Trends: Use current events as conversation starters. If you come across a new social media trend or challenge, ask your teen to explain it. Discuss how their digital presence can impact their future goals.  

    3. Set Guidelines

    Establish clear guidelines for social media use. Consider the following:

    • Time Limits: Limit the amount of time your teen spends on social media. Encourage breaks and offline activities. For example, once your teen come homes from school, a good schedule would be homework, chores, family time, chill time (social media, gaming, etc.) Also consider other methods to replace social media, such as video gaming, or a fun and mentally-healthy app on the VR headset (for those who have them.) Outside of tech, there’s reading time and outdoor time.
    • Device-Free Bedrooms: Remove devices from their bedrooms at night to promote healthy sleep habits. When it is my daughter’s bedtime, I take away the tablet and remove the gaming controller in her room. We call it “tech down time.”
    • Behavior Monitoring: Pay attention and be vigilant for problematic behaviors, such as excessive cravings for social media, compulsively wanting to their electronic versus dealing with everyday needs like eating, inability to stop, and dishonesty.

    4. Teach Digital Footprinting

    Help your teens understand their digital footprint—the trail of information they leave online. Here’s how:

    • Permanent Record: Explain that what they post online stays forever. Colleges, employers, and others may view their profiles. As a former College Access Counselor at a high school I had to host a seminar to my juniors about how their social media profiles could possibly affect their college admissions and scholarship acceptances, even if the profile is private. In 2020, a few graduating high school seniors lost their college admissions acceptances into amazing colleges like Cornell and Marquette because of their racial slurs made on social media.
    • Think Before Posting: Encourage critical thinking. Teenagers (and adults) should always think before sharing anything, “Would I want this to be part of my permanent record?” or “Would I be proud of this 10 years later?” There have been many people who became popular over the years, and due to the change of the culture, old tweets could be found offensive. For example, Tiktok chef/influencer turned Harris County (Houston) prosecutor, Waymond Wesley/Chef Way was in hot water a few years ago for old tweets resurfacing that were colorist, anti-Black, and insulting Black women. While he didn’t lose his job, he did lose a brand partnership.

    5. Privacy and Security

    Discuss privacy settings and security measures:

    • Privacy Settings: Teach your teens how to adjust privacy settings on different platforms. Remind them to limit personal information visibility. The only people who should know your location are your loved ones.
    • Password Safety: Emphasize strong, unique passwords and the importance of not sharing them. A mix of numbers, letters, (alphanumerical) and symbols are helpful towards creating a strong password and securing you accounts.
    • Avoid Oversharing: Caution against sharing sensitive details like addresses, phone numbers, or travel plans publicly. While it is okay to have a pen pal, it is not okay to share your personal information such as your address, real name, or even photos of yourself. Even when taking pictures of your surroundings, be careful what you capture and share on social media. Late rapper Pop Smoke, was killed in his Hollywood Hills home after his “opps” saw his address on his luggage tag that he posted on social media.

    6. Cyberbullying Awareness

    I once watched the ABC Family movie ‘Cyberbully‘ with Emily Osment and Kay Panabaker, and it really showed the dark side of online interactions and bullying on social media. The film highlights the devastating impact of cyberbullying on mental health and emphasizes the need for empathy, awareness, and responsible online behavior. Raise awareness about cyberbullying:

    • Kindness Online: Encourage kindness and empathy. Remind them that words have real impact with real consequences. Michelle Carter, a Massachusetts woman who texted her boyfriend that he should kill himself was convicted of involuntary manslaughter because the boyfriend did die by suicide per those text messages. She was sentenced to 15 months in prison and five years probation in 2017.
    • Reporting: Teach them how to report bullying or harmful content on social media platforms. Remember the phrase “if you see something, say something?” Online is no different. Even if these people are strangers, they are people at the end of the day. If you don’t like being bullied, why watch others be bullied?

    7. Lead by Example

    Parents and guardians, you must model responsible social media behavior:

    • Show Respect: Treat others online as you would in person. I have seen people on YouTube in these “sectors” or communities doing the craziest things online in order to get their channels monetized, get cash apps with large crowds in the chat and viewership, and more. In the midst of it all, there is a lot of “plays being ran”, doxing personal information to the public airways, and arguing at each other from the time their kids go to bed to the time their kids wake up for school. Your teenagers are seeing you do this, so be a better example.
    • Fact-Check: Verify information before sharing. There are so many conspiracies and clout-chasers running around, you must recognize the real from the fake. It never hurts to research before posting. Otherwise, scroll on by.
    • Balance: Demonstrate a balanced approach to social media use. For your own mental health and wellness, balance time with your teenager, your family, yourself, and your own social media use; especially if social media is your side-hustle.

    Remember, our teens need guidance, not restrictions. Engage in open conversations, listen actively, and empower them to make informed choices. By fostering a healthy digital environment, we can help our teens navigate social media responsibly and build a positive digital footprint

  • Gentle Nurturing in a Tech-Heavy World: Gentle Parenting Tips for 2024

    The world our children are growing up in is vastly different from the one we experienced. Technology is omnipresent, social pressures are evolving, and the need for strong emotional intelligence has never been greater. Gentle parenting, with its emphasis on connection, empathy, and respect, remains a powerful approach, but it needs to adapt to this changing landscape.
    Here are some gentle parenting tips to consider for raising happy, well-adjusted children in 2024:
    • Be the Calm in the Storm: Our fast-paced world can be overwhelming for kids. Model calmness and mindfulness. Take deep breaths together, practice yoga, or simply spend quiet time in nature. This creates a safe space for your child to express their emotions without feeling judged.
    • Tech Time with Boundaries: Technology offers incredible learning opportunities, but it can also be addictive and isolating. Set clear boundaries around screen time. Engage with your child in their online world, but also create tech-free zones where imagination and real-world connection can thrive.
    • Empathy Over Punishment: Children are still developing their emotional regulation skills.  Instead of punishment, focus on helping them understand the consequences of their actions. Roleplay scenarios, discuss appropriate behavior, and offer opportunities for them to make amends.
    • Focus on the “Why” Behind the Behavior: Tantrums and meltdowns are often a child’s way of communicating a need.  Instead of focusing on stopping the behavior, try to understand the underlying cause. Are they tired, hungry, or feeling overwhelmed? Validate their feelings and work together to find a solution.
    • Connection is Key:  In our busy lives, quality time with our children can get squeezed out. Make conscious efforts to connect. Put away distractions, have meaningful conversations, and engage in activities they enjoy. This builds a strong foundation of trust and security.
    • Emotional Intelligence for the Digital Age:  Help your child understand and manage their emotions. Teach them how to identify their feelings, express them constructively, and cope with frustration.  Role-playing and social-emotional learning resources can be helpful tools.
    • Growth Mindset Matters: The world is full of challenges and setbacks. Foster a growth mindset in your child.  Encourage them to see mistakes as learning opportunities and celebrate their effort and perseverance.
    • Body Positivity in a Filtered World: Social media bombards children with unrealistic beauty standards. Promote body positivity by celebrating your child’s unique qualities and focusing on healthy habits rather than appearance.
    Gentle parenting isn’t about being permissive; it’s about setting clear boundaries with love and understanding. By adapting these tips to the realities of 2024, we can raise children who are emotionally intelligent, resilient, and prepared to thrive in our ever-changing world. Remember, gentle parenting is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs, but by prioritizing connection and fostering your child’s emotional well-being, you’re giving them the greatest gift of all.

     

  • The Heart of Black Parenting: Community, Collaboration, and Unwavering Support

    For centuries, the Black community has fostered a profound tradition of collaborative parenting and collective support for children. Let’s be real; do we really know how to be parents? For some of us, the answer is yes, based on how we were raised or what we saw from our parents and upbringing. For some, we want to change societal methods of parenting to help raise better members of society with less childhood trauma and mental health issues. 

    Growing up, I remember the network my parents created to help raise me in a changing world. This network was a circle of trusted adults who shared the same ideals as my parents and who would step in to help me when my parents either couldn’t or weren’t available at the moment due to work or other responsibilities. Those adults included my babysitter and a few teachers at the neighborhood elementary and middle schools I attended. Let’s dive into how this community-oriented approach supports families and the ways you can connect with this tradition.

    “It Takes a Village”: The Strength of Extended Networks

    • Shared Wisdom: Seasoned parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and trusted neighbors all share their expertise and insights, creating a rich pool of knowledge to support new parents. This eases the burden on any one caregiver and offers children diverse perspectives.
    • Practical Support: Everything from childcare and meal prep to emotional support is shared amongst the community. This reduces stress on parents and fosters a sense of true belonging for children, knowing they have a network of caring adults.
    • Cultural Transmission: Community plays a vital role in passing down traditions, values, and a deep sense of cultural identity. These experiences shape children’s understanding of the world and their place within it.

    Finding Your Village in the Modern World

    • Seeking Mentorship: Reach out to seasoned parents within your family or local community for advice and guidance. Churches, community centers, and online forums can offer avenues for connection. Even Facebook has groups with like-minded people seeking mentorship.
    • Building Your Tribe: Organize playdates, potlucks, and activities that strengthen bonds between parents and create a sense of community for children. Don’t hesitate to ask for and offer help from others within your circle.
    • Celebrating the Power of Shared Experiences: Share your parenting journey with your community, both the joys and the challenges. This normalizes the experience and strengthens connections with those who understand.

    While the specific landscape of Black families may have changed over time, the core principle of community-centered parenting remains a powerful legacy. This tradition serves as a reminder that raising children is not a solitary endeavor, but a shared responsibility built on love, support, and collective wisdom. By embracing this communal spirit and fostering connections within our own networks, we can create nurturing environments where our children can thrive and future generations can carry on this powerful tradition.

    Should we bring this back? Did we have this before the pandemic? Let me know your thoughts!

  • How to Support Your Teen's Mental Health in 2024: A Guide for Parents

    As a parent, you want the best for your child. You want them to be happy, healthy, and successful. But sometimes, it can be hard to know how to help them cope with the challenges of adolescence, especially in a world that is constantly changing and evolving.

    The COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on the mental health of teenagers around the world. According to various studies, more than a third of high school students in the U.S. reported poor mental health, persistent sadness or hopelessness, and emotional abuse by a parent or caregiver during the pandemic. The prevalence of depression and anxiety symptoms among youth globally increased by 25% and 20%, respectively, compared to pre-pandemic levels. Additionally, some teens experienced racism, physical abuse, and job loss in their families as a result of the pandemic. These factors may increase the risk of suicide among vulnerable youth who lack adequate support and resources.

    That’s why we’ve put together this blog post with some tips on how to support your teen’s mental health in 2024. Whether it’s dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, or any other mental health issue, we hope these tips will help you and your teen navigate this difficult but rewarding stage of life.

    Tip #1: Listen without judging

    One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to listen to your teen without judging them. Teens often feel misunderstood, isolated, or criticized by their parents, which can make them reluctant to open up or seek help. By listening to your teen with empathy and respect, you can show them that you care about their feelings and opinions and that you are there to support them, not to judge them.

    To listen without judging, try to avoid interrupting, lecturing, or giving advice unless your teen asks for it. Instead, use active listening skills such as nodding, paraphrasing, asking open-ended questions, and reflecting back their emotions. For example, you could say something like “It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed by school right now” or “I can see that you’re really passionate about this topic”. This way, you can help your teen feel heard and validated, and encourage them to share more with you.

    Tip #2: Encourage healthy habits

    Another way to support your teen’s mental health is to encourage them to adopt healthy habits that can boost their mood and well-being. These include getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, staying hydrated, and avoiding drugs and alcohol. These habits can help your teen cope with stress, regulate their emotions, and improve their self-esteem.

    To encourage healthy habits, you can model them yourself and make them part of your family routine. For example, you can set a regular bedtime and wake-up time for yourself and your teen, prepare nutritious meals and snacks together, join a fitness class or a sports team with your teen, or drink water instead of soda or alcohol. You can also praise your teen for making healthy choices and reward them with positive reinforcement such as hugs, compliments, or privileges.

    Tip #3: Help them find professional help if needed

    Sometimes, listening and encouraging healthy habits are not enough to support your teen’s mental health. If your teen is showing signs of a serious mental health problem such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts, they may need professional help from a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, or other mental health provider.

    To help your teen find professional help if needed, you can start by talking to them about the benefits of therapy and how it can help them cope with their challenges. You can also reassure them that seeking help is not a sign of weakness or failure, but a sign of strength and courage. You can then help them find a suitable provider who specializes in working with teens and who matches their preferences in terms of gender, ethnicity, culture, or approach. You can also offer to accompany them to their first appointment or check in with them regularly about how they are doing.

    Supporting your teen’s mental health in 2024 may not be easy, but it is definitely worth it. By listening without judging, encouraging healthy habits, and helping them find professional help if needed, you can show your teen that you love them unconditionally and that you are always there for them. Remember that you are not alone in this journey – there are many resources and support groups available for parents of teens with mental health issues. Together, we can make 2024 a better year for our teens and ourselves.